The Kingdom of Heaven

From a religious aspect, there are hundreds and hundreds of interpretations of "Heaven". While the, let's call them minor, details of whether the corner of the cosmos reserved for Heaven is flowing with milk and honey or brimming with indescribably beautiful flowers and jeweled trees or 72 naked virgins can be argued or rearranged or misunderstood, the fact that every version seems to share some unmistakably common and extremely pertinent points is quite promising actually. No suffering, no hunger, utter happiness, complete bliss. The list goes on. Oddly enough, even the extreme ends of organized religion have a version of heaven that highlights some form of unity, contentment and peace. But do we really have access to it only after we die? If heaven is so great, then why would we have to spend a lifetime waiting for it?

I saw heaven the other day.

No death or near-death experience required. It was right there, I could touch it and talk to it and even take a picture of it. Why? Because it was distinctly all around me. It was in the gesture of a man who woke up early to make an amazing breakfast for all of his friends. It was in the laughter that danced around the table as everyone gave thanks and then enjoyed a good meal. It was in the smile of a girl who along with sugar and flour, baked a whole lot of love into the cupcakes she had made. It was in the twinkle in his eye when he brought her something sweet because he knows that chocolate is her favorite. It was in the gaze of two people who finally acknowledged a long, unspoken connection. It was everywhere, day and night, in whispers and giggles, in hot cups of tea and bowls of guacamole, in blankets and socks and warm, cozy fires. And it was beautiful.

I watched a group of people care for one another, look out for one another, pick up after one another, applaud one another. Without any motive, without expecting anything in return, yet in my opinion, we all received so much more. It's so unbelievably easy that it's almost hard to conceive, I've realized. Heaven isn't a place we should all be waiting - and dying - to see...I was raised Catholic. (Dying to see if it actually exists.) Heaven exists because we make it. Right here, right now. All of those ideas put forth by religion can so easily be practiced, in a literal and earthly sense, daily. Create, be and nurture whatever your idea of heaven is…here on earth. It's so simple. We've all heard the notions and dreams of what heaven might be like. What about knowing exactly what it's like?

Heaven

noun

1. The expanse of space that seems to be over the earth like a dome.

2. A spiritual state of everlasting communion with God.

3. A place or condition of utmost happiness.

4. The abode of God, the angels, and the spirits of the righteous after death; the place or state of existence of the blessed after the mortal life.

If you ask me, those first three sound pretty close to the place I'm sitting right now. And the 4th one, if there's more of this after I die, bring it on.

Letters arranged into words never spoken

Words gathered together
in a letter
never
sent.


To the one I secretly admire,

I have always thought of myself as an educated and well-spoken human being, yet when you walk into a room, I turn into this perfect, bumbling idiot. I watch you walk in my direction and suddenly I cannot speak. I can't catch my breath when you're standing too close to me sometimes. God forbid any part of you should so much as graze any part of me as you walk passed. It is then I am rendered completely useless.

There are so many things I long to tell you, yet I continue, as I have for more days than I can remember, to shelter my thoughts of you. My cowardice prevails time and again, concealing evidence that I might possess an ounce of courage with which I could reveal even one affection I hold for you.

If I could pretend for a moment that I was unafraid, I would express my respect for your brilliance and your generous nature. If I were brave, I would whisper in your ear that I find you incredibly sexy. And hysterically funny. And admirably kind. I would draw you a picture of your immensely big heart along with a note saying I could never grow tired of just looking at your face.

I think of you. Often.


Gutlessly yours,

Alexis

Happy Valentine's Day...or something.

"Valentine's schmalentines. Bah humbug."

~Alexis Fedorowych



"The world as a whole has forgotten the real meaning of the word love. Love has been so abused and crucified by man that very few people know what true love is. Just as oil is present in every part of the olive, so love permeates every part of creation. But to define love is very difficult, for the same reason that words cannot fully describe the flavor of an orange. You have to taste the fruit to know its flavor. So with love."

~Paramahansa Yogananda

Second Life...

This gives a whole new meaning to the words Virtual Reality. 

Second Life

This might be the craziest thing I have witnessed in my life thus far.  Second Life is a virtual world, similar to the Sims video game, but then again…nothing at all like it!  (By the way, I’m not a video gamer in any way, shape or form, but I know the premise of the Sims games).  Be a character, build a city, theme park, whatever…entertain yourself, work, basically engage yourself in virtual world for however long you feel it necessary to keep yourself away from those 3 dimensional people called...humans. 

Second life, is literally what its name states.  You are creating your own second life in a virtual setting, however just like in the real world, the smarter you are and the more you prosper, the more money you stand to make.  Wait.  You actually make money?  Yes.  The virtual world of Second Life has its own economy – it is based on the Linden dollar.  As Linden dollars are spent, let’s say in your virtual guitar shop, they are exchanged into real American dollars.  You earn money for some virtual character walking his virtual ass into your store and dropping 100,000 Linden’s on a custom guitar.  Let me remind you that this guitar doesn’t even have to actually exist.  Out of curiosity, I checked the website for the exchange rate for today:  L$267/US$1.00

Does anyone else find this absolutely genius and altogether terrifying?

You create a pretend, non-existent, 3-D avatar, buy a pretend, non-existent parcel of virtual land, start a pretend, non-existent business or build a make believe cottage, make an imaginary product or sell a fictional service.  Buy…sell…trade!  In all actuality, these products or services you made up CAN exist for sale in the real world as well, as you retain your Intellectual Property rights over anything you create, but that’s just too much to get into at this late hour and my head already feels like it’s going to explode.  Current enterprising SL residents (of which there are 3,414,980 - in case you were wondering if this was HUGE or not) have founded and currently run such businesses as tattoo artist, wedding planner, private detective, bodyguard, aerospace engineer, hug maker – I had to include that one because it’s just too awesome - and the list goes on and on.  You can literally do or make or sell absolutely anything.  

I don’t know who has time to start and run a business in computer land, as it makes me wonder what they are doing at their real life job, however…there is evidence that some successful business owners “in-world”, as they refer to it, are making thousands of dollars – a day. 

I have no idea where I’ve been, obviously living under a rock somewhere...as I’m just learning about this from a friend of mine at 2:00 in the morning, but it’s been around since 2003 and quite obviously thriving.  And here I thought I was ahead of the game because I had already watched The Secret before it was featured on Oprah today.  :)  So now, not only do I have the demands of thriving in the land of people who breathe, I now have to concern myself with my virtual success in a world where the selling point of the home I’m about to buy is that it was once owned by Lara Croft. 

Oh the pressure, it’s just too much.

There's this one moment...

...in the middle of the night, in a teeny, little place between wake and sleep, that I wish I could stop time. Right there. It's my favorite time. The curtains are drawn, but you can tell it's still dark outside, completely silent. No cars, no creaks, no birds. It's as though God pushed the mute button so that if you happen to stir during this fleeting moment, you can experience actual peace and quiet. I wake here quite often. There are some days I realize and appreciate (and move closer to) the warm body lying next to me in this split second of silence…and I smile in the dark and close my eyes, willing time to stop right there.

But more often than not, it's just me awakening to complete consciousness and becoming slightly bothered by the realization that I have to pee.

Naturally, I muster the energy to get up and shuffle myself to the toilet. For the better part of 7 years, I have lived alone (aside from the cats). For the better part of those 7 years, I have not flushed the toilet in the middle of the night, just because I peed…I am a subscriber to the whole "if it's yellow, let it mellow" theory. Seriously, it's just pee. And if you're a girl, a little bit of toilet paper. No need to waste all that water for an ounce or two of sterile, albeit slightly yellow, liquid to be flushed out of the bowl. Did you know that your pee is sterile? Did you know that soldiers have been known to use urine to clean wounds in times of desperation? The fact is, you're probably spreading more germs by touching the handle TO flush rather than just ignoring the pee in the bowl and running back to bed to try and get the moment back.

But lately, for me, a small dilemma has presented itself. See, there's this cat that has lived with me for 13 years, who has decided, and increasingly so in the last 2 years, that she cannot drink from her cat bowl of water. No. This is not suitable for her. She must drink from the toilet bowl of water. Therefore, she waits, sometimes rather impatiently, for me to…er, finish, then she slips in and watches while the magic bowl serves up what she considers to be suitable and, more importantly, preferable drinking water.

(I've asked a few vets about this peculiar behavior and as it turns out it's not entirely peculiar. Some cats like 'running' water better, no matter that you were running to that same bowl just a few minutes before to relieve yourself. The consensus from the docs has been, either let her drink out of it - or - shut the lid.) Shut the lid. Have you met my cat? This cat does not meow, she waahs. Some friends of mine swear that she also emits a sound that resembles the word 'Mom' being whined by a two year old who is not getting the attention she thinks she deserves. I have shut the lid. I have shut the lid while I've been on the phone with customer service people and they have said to me, on several occasions, something to the effect of, "Ma'am, do you need to put the phone down to get your baby?" They believe there is an infant - CRYING - in the background in my house (not to mention the fact that they think I'm ignoring it). Shutting the lid is not an option. I know now why parents cave to the kid throwing a tantrum at the store. You just want them to shut up. Plus, tantrum or not, this is the cat that plants herself under my arm, resting her head in the same spot a girl might rest her head on the shoulder of a boy she likes…and then purrs me to sleep, every night. She has me totally whipped.

I bought her, especially for her… one of those cat fountains that keeps the water running constantly, as a gesture to keep her happy and frankly, out of the toilet. I think I actually saw her roll her eyes and shake her head when I brought it home.

So back to the dilemma, I have always been a light turner-offer (thanks mom…good habits start young). I don't leave the water running when I brush my teeth, I recycle my bags and bottles. Since I do my part in these other areas, can I just let go of the fact that I have to flush for the sake of quenching the cat's thirst? Do I have to feel guilty about this? I do have those low water yielding toilets in my place, which use about a third of the amount of water in a conventional toilet tank…which is nice, but...


Two part dilemma.

If you're a mellow yellow person and you're at someone else's house and it's the middle of the night when you have to pee…is it acceptable to not flush?